Jan 13, 2015

We've moved up the street and like this new house much better. There is more light and the layout is more open.

The yard is hard packed dirt. It's been fun trying to do things with it.

Tore some ligaments in my middle toe on the first of December and it's just now that I'm able to run again.

I've been biking instead and loved being able to see more.

Experiencing fall in AZ

Hadley having fun with the iPad

These grow everywhere around us and as long as it's not in someone's yard you can pick them. Fresh grapefruit and oranges.

Found a market by Tonys work that has the cheapest produce. All this was $20!

You'd think with buying that stuff we would eat great all the time...

Parents came down and stayed for a few days. Loved it! Seeing christmas lights with hot chocolate.

Grandma and grandpa doing gingerbreads with them. My dad helps out a lot.

I can always find Sage on the table.

Hadley and Lainey have been on a Littlest Pet Shop kick for months now.

Things are going pretty good now. Our first full Arizona summer was not bad. Winters are amazing! Right now it's 68 in our house and I have a jacket on. Crazy how our body gets used to the heat. As Sage grows up and is more independent I feel a little more freedom. It's getting easier to enjoy the last child and know she is it!

Oct 1, 2014

It's not fair how depression has clouded my view of my baby. Lately, she has been emerging. Maybe it's because breast feeding has waned, but now I feel like I can finally see her. Sweet baby Sage.

Jul 9, 2014

Sweet Hadley was baptized

We found a lake to go to that's only 20 min. away (link found an old cell phone)

Lainey loved soccer this year. She had a great coach.

Cornfields in Gilbert are so pretty.

Janae came down with her 4 girls and we spent the whole time in the pool!

We went to Flagstaff for the 4th and hiked Walnut Canyon.

It is much cooler and green there.

May 5, 2014

On a happier note,
Love my baby girls

Link is loving Sage. Wrapped her up in these blankets himself.

Sage loves her daddy

Love all my siblings

Apr 25, 2014

I had to capture this feeling of having such a good morning with these two. Sage had just fallen asleep on me and link was being so good. I finally felt some peace. I felt like I could finally see that things were going to be ok. Things aren't always going to be so hard. I know I've been in a thick fog. Actually, lets call it the Deep Dark. Thats how it feels, and its been with me since being pregnant with Sage. You can call it whatever you want; antepartum and postpartum, whatever, it's a depression. I think it's just life in general and it happens during the time I'm the most vulnerable (pregnancy and after). I KNOW my hormones aren't right, but if u checked me during every depression bout I've had I'm sure my hormones wouldn't be right. You can't just chalk it up to bad hormones people, this is my life and living life is hard. I'm trying to make a little bit of sense of the experience of pain. I've done more soul searching, scripture reading and praying in these past two years than ever. I know there's so much more to go through, which seems incredibly daunting and impossible now. I feel like I've been broken, weakened and not capable of doing this life. I'm really working on hope. Hope that one day my weaknesses will be made strong.
Dealing with my mental battles is work. Stretching my soul hurts. But, I guess that's what we are here for. I wish happiness was a little easier to come by.
I want to be real about my life on this site and pictures just don't tell the whole story. I don't want my kids to look back on this, (after I've printed it and made it a book), and think that life was so easy and happy all the time. Because truthfully, life is a lot of work and is for EVERYBODY. Usually when I look back at things I remember only the good parts. Like raising babies, you forget how hard it is. But it's the hardest parts of it that make me grow. If I never take time to write down the hardships I go through, I think I'll kind of forget what I'm made of. Which is much stronger than anything I've felt in the past few years.

Mar 24, 2014

Spring break in Utah! April bought a car from tone and we drove two cars up to slc. I won't try to do that at night again with a baby. Sage was awful! We reached Utah and saw lots of family and friends. So good to see them all again. Tony flew back home to work and the kids and I stayed a few more days. We drove to Vegas to meet tony there and had a few nights stay.

Hanging out at parents and with cousins.

Link bit Sage

Link looks like he's heading in.

Fingamoos! That's what lainey called them when she was little and flamingos will forever be fingamoos!

Meeting Dad at the hotel! Kids were so happy!

We would ride the monorail into the strip and see all the free things.

Cuddles from Suesser as we wait for the monorail.

Saw great-grandma Linde

This little one has started crawling everywhere and is such a happy and content baby! All of us can't get enough of her.